Snow White & the Green Eyed Monster
by piper maru duchovny
Summary: Snow deals with some residual jealousy issues for the woman that got to play a part in raising her daughter. - Mama Snow and Emma bonding, post Shattered Sight.


**The first paragraph of this came to me last night as I was about to fall asleep. As I sat down to write it out as a drabble, the rest of this came to be. I hope it's enjoyable. (Also, I'm about to fall asleep and haven't proofed this thoroughly so if there's mistakes I apologize and they're wholly my own)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Not yours. Definitely A&E's. **

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><p><em>"...jealousy is a green eyed monster and if you ask any one of my kids, they'll tell you there's no reasoning with a monster. Dude, runaway before I find a brick."<br>-Arizona Robbins (Grey's Anatomy)_

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><p>Snow has never hated her name before. Certainly there were times when it was an inconvenience, an annoyance when fellow royal children insisted upon quips like "it's you-ing out today" and "it's so hot out there even Snow would melt". But she never hated it before that woman appeared in her life. That insipid woman and her terrible moniker. The Snow Queen. Ugh. Her name was Snow, she was the queen. She was Queen Snow and that woman, ice powers though she may have had, was nothing more than a poor imitation for the real thing.<p>

The thing was Snow knew. Snow knew that her rage over the woman's moniker was just an outlet for the jealousy that toiled, twisted and fermented in the deep pit of her belly because that woman had been allotted the precious chance to raise Snow's daughter. Emma had thought of that woman like a mother. That horrible woman who kept trying to kill her baby had been the closest thing Emma had to a mother for the first twenty-eight years of her life. She'd gotten a piece of her child that Snow would never be privy to. Sure, she wiped Emma's memories at the first given opportunity and had nearly killed her child on multiple occasions, adding to the rampantly growing list of life disappoints for Emma Swan, but jealousy was an evil monster that didn't listen to reason.

She could have learned to live with the fact that there had been a mother before her in Emma's life, some witch who's moniker was basically her name in reverse. But then the woman went and sacrificed herself, renouncing her evil ways for the greater good. And that death? It effected Emma.

Emma's voice had wavered when she explained what had gone on in that lair. Tears had pooled under those beautiful eyes and Snow wanted to scream to the heavens because it wasn't fair that her baby was hurting again and that pain had been inflicted by someone who had been a mother in Emma's life when she hadn't been there.

Hell, the woman had been a villain in their little hamlet and still seemed to be able to get closer to Emma than Snow herself had since the lost year. And Snow wasn't so naive as to not realize that a lot of the problems between her and Emma rested on her own shoulders. Emma may have pulled away when she found out her mother was pregnant with Neal but Snow was the one who let her walk away without a fight. She'd been in crisis mode, so worried about what might happen to her son that she brushed her relationship with her daughter to the side. And when Emma's magic had fluxed? Oh, Snow was still kicking herself for how she had treated her baby. Cringed when she realized she'd done it again in the jail just before the curse hit – built Emma up as the savior, not their daughter.

Charming seemed to be so much better at relating to her that way, seeing her as their little girl rather than the warrior woman that Snow often got caught up in. Ingrid could do it too.

Her breath hitched in her throat when she emerged from the bedroom after Neal's midnight feeding to find her daughter sipping at cocoa in the dim light of the living room. Emma looked like an angel with her blond hair falling like a curtain around her, oversized shirt and leggings draping her just right. It was the quiver in Emma's breathing and the way she bowed her head over the mug that spurred the mother into action and she quickly crossed the room, not pausing for permission as she wrapped her little girl in a hug. "Oh sweetheart."

"I know she was using me," Emma sniffled as she placed the mug on the side table. "But when she gave me back my memory... She was right. I loved her. She was my family. Even just for a little while."

"I hate her," Snow confessed as she brushed a hand through her daughter's hair. "I've been crazy with jealousy for weeks now. That woman got a piece of you that I'm never going to get. She got to have my thirteen year old baby's love, earned it even. She gave you a place to call home, even just for awhile, when I couldn't do that. And maybe I should feel... respect for her or something, be grateful that you had that. But I'm afraid I'm weaker than that. Just this terrible, terrible jealousy that she got to be your mother when I... I keep screwing it up."

"Mama," Emma whispered. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't apologize," she ordered with a kiss to her daughter's temple. "I am, on some level, grateful that you had her because I know life was... hard for you. I know that. Logic and jealousy don't exactly go hand in hand, you know?"

"I know."

Snow pressed another kiss to the crown of her daughter's head. "I'm going to do better, Emma. Can you just do me a favor and tell me when I'm screwing it all up?" She paused for Emma to nod. "You are my daughter first. Daughter ranks way above savior. It's just... I can relate to the savior part of you. The warrior heading into battle. And I can relate to my friend; back when we were Emma and Mary Margret. I just seem to keep screwing up the mom part."

"You're not doing as bad as you think," she whispered as she snuggled in deeper to her mother's touch. "You're the opposite of Ingrid. I may have loved her but I loved her in that way broken foster kids do when someone is offering them the world. She bought me things, took me places, kept me fed and didn't hit me. She played psychological games on me. Things I mistook for a mother's love. And maybe... I have to believe that she loved me the best she knew how because it was a bright spot, even just for a moment, amid all the crap I went through. She may have been a mother in my life but she wasn't my mama."

"Em."

"You're my mama. That's what I would have called you if we'd all been able to stay together, I think. I have these fake memories of raising Henry and the way my heart felt when he would call me mama... I would have called you mama. You're my mama. Ingrid may have been a mother but you're my mama. And I may be pushing thirty but I still need you. I still need my mama."

"You've got me, Emma," Snow promised as she pulled her daughter ever closer, half dragging the fully grown woman across her lap and relishing the way she snuggled in."I'm your mama."

"And I'm sorry I make it harder," Emma whispered. "You might have a hard time being my mama but I have a hard time being your daughter too. It's not just on you."

"Well then we'll both work on doing better," the queen told her decidedly.

"Deal." Emma sighed. "You should sleep. Little bro will be up again soon."

"You're not leaving this hold until I'm sure you're okay," Snow told her. "You lost someone you loved, Emma. Another on what's racking up to be a pretty long list. So we're going to sit here and I'm going to hold my daughter until I'm sure that she's okay. If my son wakes up again and needs fed or changed then daddy's right there and can bring him to me if he needs to. I've got two arms, Emma Ruth, and they're big enough for both my babies."

Her daughter smiled. "Okay, mama. I get it."


End file.
